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Mick Farren: Apr. 2009

April 2009

Greg BishopALIENS WILL BE ALIEN

by Mick Farren

I have always had reservations about grey aliens. Indeed, I have always found them a little too trite to be true. Okay, the egg-headed, abducting, little bastards are all over t-shirts, fridge magnets and The History Channel, but, for me, that doesn’t make them any more convincing. That alien visitors to our world should turn out to be upright, four limbed, bi-pedal entities, seems just too much of a coincidence, particularly as the current configuration of human beings was created by a very specific set of evolutionary circumstances. Was it possible that our first extra terrestrial contact would be with a species that – like us – had some small, grey ancestral quadruped who also stood up on its hind legs to look over what passed for long grass on a distant planet, under another star?

The odds are astronomical, but, even so, I don’t simply dismiss the grey aliens as an unconscious human confection, or a deliberate invention sold to a mass audience by Steven Spielberg. Instead, I put myself in the position of the alien. If I was to find myself approaching planet crowded with bad tempered simians armed with rudimentary nuclear weapons, but also worshipping primitive deities, I would proceed with the most extreme caution. And If I suspected that my own physical appearance would provoke a hostile reaction in the monkey natives, I might well devise a plan to avoid confronting them directly.

Human anthropologists, attempting to make contact with primitive tribes, both in the Amazon and Papua New Guinea, first piqued the primitives’ curiosity by leaving unfamiliar but intriguing objects, like cooking utensils and the inevitable small mirrors, hanging in the undergrowth, before confronting the target tribe directly. An alien initiating contact with humanity might go one better and attempt to create a bioengineered substitute that would seem harmless. Since our alien would have solved all the problems involved in crossing inter-stellar space, it might well have the technology to fabricate something that resembled the natives themselves, except featureless, of neutral coloring, and somewhat shorter than the average Earthling. What better idea than to make its fabricated ambassadors look a lot like the fetus of the species it was about to confront? Would that not make them feel trusting and protective?

At this point I need to fill in a few peripheral thoughts I’ve had on the subject of visiting aliens. The very fact that they are visiting here makes them explorers of some kind – whatever else they might be notwithstanding. And on that very basic level, explorers are not to be trusted. They have a ruthlessness that invariably bodes ill for the inhabitants of the places they explore. On Earth, the outstanding explorers – the Dutch, the Spanish, and the English in most recent human history – have cultural roots in piracy and mayhem, and are descendants of buccaneers and long-ship raiders.

Although our alien explorers may have given up their equivalent rape and pillage eons ago, the avaricious drive to adventure, and the ruthlessness that goes with it, may still lurk vestigially in their genes. Any species so highly motivated that it will cross the universe to see what’s on the other side, may well have emerged from some correspondingly violent background. Even on our own planet, humans are fairly unique in their driven inquisitiveness. Dolphins, for instance, do not crawl up the beach to loot and plunder seaside resort towns. When considering visiting aliens we probably need to question their agendas and motives, and consider that they may turn out to be more like us than we find comfortable.

Let’s also not forget that the first of the modern alien encounters – the ones right after World War II, like those of George Adamski — were with tall, Nordic, long-haired blondes, who seemed just too good to be plausible. When, in 1952, the tall handsome visitor called Orthon disembarked from his saucer and told Adamski that he was from Venus, the story was so plainly impossible that poor old George was laughed out of the bookstores. But could Orthon, rather than an Adamski fabrication, be a first attempt at a contact simulacra? Had our alien explorer received cultural indications that made it assume humanity looked up to and trusted Nordic blondes? (The first human TV pictures had, of course, come out of Nazi Germany.) Perhaps when the alien found that the Nordic blondes were not working, the small grey fetus-looking EBEs were substituted.

Am I joking? Of course, but only to a degree. When we consider the impossible, our thinking needs to be at its most creative.

 

Mick Farren blogs at Doc40.blogspot.com


 

Mick Farren is the author of 32 published books, that include gothic fantasy and cyber-punk sci-fi, plus non-fiction works on conspiracy theory, cultural paranoia, and Elvis Presley. He is also an accomplished lyricist and performer, with more than a dozen CDs to his credit.

 


 

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