Archive for the ‘Los Angeles’ Category
Los Angeles’ not-quite crop circle

“California–you’re supposed to be the out-there, wild ones!” Comedian Eddie Izzard remarked, after the California smoking ban was passed in bars. Once upon a time, all the loose cannons rolled west. I won’t take any responsibility for the Governator–who balks at legalizing pot, which would balance the state budget, but champions the idea of privitizing the state prisons. In Los Angeles, Mayor Villaraigosa can’t possibly cut police and fire services, which I’ve heard, account for 75% of the city budget (that can’t be right). I’m all for firemen–but here in West Hollywood, where both the county police and sheriffs have jurisdiction–I suspect it has more to do with the LAPD lobby than any pretense of public safety.
Who needs parks, or education, or health services? How is it, exactly, that a county which contains the 5th LARGEST ECONOMY IN THE WORLD–can be on the brink of bankruptcy?
The Los Angeles State Historic Park — site of the Anabolic Monument, past site of Not A Cornfield — is under threat of being shut down.
LASHP is not alone. 220 of California’s 279 state parks, beaches, and preserves are on a budget-cutting hit list. Here’s a Los Angeles Times summary. Here’s the Downtown News on the local park. Finally, here’s the website of the California State Parks Foundation, a “friends-of” group to the California State Parks Department.
As far as I know–my little slice of the world has yet to play host to even a single crop circle. When he was governor of California, forward-thinking Ronald Reagan proposed turning the Santa Monica mountains into a giant trash dump. Yeah–the out there, wild ones.
Jordan Maxwell & Dr. Roger Leir, Burbank, February 7
Hi, gang… it just keeps getting better and better! Spend a day with the world’s premiere occult symbologist Jordan Maxwell and Dr. Roger Leir — UFO researcher, friend of L.O.W.F.I., and possibly the world’s leading authority on alien implants and their removal — in sunny Burbank! Be there or be out of the loop!

Doors open at 12 pm Noon please come early to avoid last minute rush. We will start at 2 pm with Dr. Roger Leir’s slide presentation. George Noory will play past audio clips, give commentary & then introduce Jordan. Jordan will give two eye-opening brand-new multi media lectures, 2 hours each!
The Hidden Dimensions in World Affairs
in 2 parts:
* How did we get here?
* Where are we now?
We humans are controlled by words and ideas. And your decisions in life are only as good as your information. And until we begin to trace back to the source of the ideas and belief systems we live by, we will stay in trouble and continue to make bad decisions. The more we change… the more we stay the same. Governments have “Intelligent Agencies”, because they don’t want to believe… they want to know! Nothing is hidden from you, you just didn’t look hard enough. Jordan Maxwell will start you on a “road less traveled”
No Children-Must be over 16 to attend-
$50 for general seating ~ $75 for FRONT ROW seats.
Purchase tickets ahead or pay cash at the door
Ivy West says it’s a $20 discount for LOWFI! Just come to the door and ask for Ivy… Seating is limited; we have only 1,000 seats
There are 5 places to eat within walking distance. Please no Video or Audio Recording. We will be filming this event and making it available at the event, you also can order it after.
What Should L.A. Say to the Space Aliens?
By Jeremy Rosenberg
December 11, 2009 1:30 AM
Last week, the Los Angeles Times carried this dispatch: “Is Denver ready for a close encounter?”
Tongues planted firmly in cheek, Ashley Powers and DeeDee Correll wrote about how a Denver ballot initiative next year will attempt to create an “Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission.” From the article:
This week, Denver officials announced that Peckman had gathered about 4,000 valid signatures needed to place the issue before the 350,000 registered voters of the Colorado state capital.If approved, the city panel would promote “harmonious, peaceful, mutually respectful and beneficial coexistence” between earthlings and extraterrestrials, in part by developing protocols for “diplomatic contact.”
For more Mile High reaction, TTLA checked in with our Denver Bureau Chief, Michael Gunstanson. His reply runs below.
Also, TTLA wondered, shouldn’t Los Angeles be doing something about this Denver gap? Should we start gathering signatures? Form our own space alien welcoming committee?
“That’s really funny,” says TTLA Paranormal Activities Bureau Chief, Skylaire Alfvegren (motto: “Yellow journalism, elfin magic.”). “I don’t think it’s necessary. I think this guy’s initiative in Denver is more of a gesture than anything else.”
Alfvegren is, among much more, the founder of the League of Western Fortean Intermediatists (L.O.W.F.I.), which she describes in part as a “wire service for the weird,” studying “the mysteries and peculiarities of the American West, including paranormal phenomena, UFOs, cryptozoology, and unexplained phenomena of every type.”
More down below from Alfvegren. First, though, here’s what Gunstanson, formerly with the L.A. Times and the Rocky Mountain News, wrote us:
“So you think that the city of Angels might want to follow Denver’s lead and get in on the act of communing with them, or at least their 21st century brethren, huh?
“Not surprising. For whatever reason, UFOs, extraterrestrials, grays, men from mars or whatever you want to call them, have been in the news a great deal of late. From their high-profile, if albeit tumbling ratings, return to network television in “V” to a veiled nod of their existence in the new SyFy channel spinoff: “Stargate Universe,” aliens seem to be everywhere at once.
“Why, no less an, ahem, authority on the subject, his Holiness, the Pope, recently convened a conference to discuss the matter:
“Though it may seem an unlikely location to happen upon a conference on astrobiology, the Vatican recently held a “study week” of over 30 astronomers, biologists, geologists and religious leaders to discuss the question of the existence of extraterrestrials. – Universe Today
“The Vatican’s chief astronomer says there is no conflict between believing in God and in the possibility of extraterrestrial “brothers” perhaps more evolved than humans.
“In my opinion this possibility exists,” said the Reverend José Gabriel Funes, head of the Vatican Observatory and a scientific adviser to Pope Benedict XVI, referring to life on other planets. – NY TImes
“Meanwhile, Monsignor Corrado Balducci, a theologian member of the Vatican Curia (governing body), and an insider close to the Pope, has gone on Italian national television five times to proclaim that extraterrestrial contact is a real phenomenon, according to UFO Digest. Balducci provided an analysis of extraterrestrials that he feels is consistent with the Catholic Church’s understanding of theology. Monsignor Balducci emphasizes that extraterrestrial encounters “are NOT demonic, they are NOT due to psychological impairment, they are NOT a case of entity attachment, but these encounters deserve to be studied carefully.”
“So you can see why Denver, having missed out on the spaceport race – mostly because there isn’t a piece of land big enough and flat enough to work – would want to be at the forefront of the UFO greeting race.
“Add in these facts: most UFOlogists — yes, I’m told that’s a word — believe Eisenhower only added “In God We Trust” to the money and pushed for “under God” to be added to the pledge in 1954 after meeting with aliens; Denver is a scant 9 hours from Roswell, where aliens reportedly crashed; Cheyenne Mountain was where the military stored the Stargate (if you can believe the writers/producers of Stargate: SG1) and you can see that Denver, and the state of Colorado has had a rich “brush with UFO fame” history in this regard.
“All that said, my guess is this measure will not pass.”
Back, now, to Los Angeles and Alfvegren. A veteran of the Cacophony Society (adults only) she’s also a freelancer for the LA Weekly and other pubs. Her L.O.W.F.I. puts on events in town once a month or so — a drive through Phillip K. Dick’s Fullerton; taking a psychic medium to the Richard Nixon Museum.
Saturday, December 12, L.O.W.F.I. is involved with L.A. Santacon, a Cacophony tradition. (Adults only — for more information, follow the links from the L.O.W.F.I. events page.)
To TTLA’s surprise, Alfvegren says L.A. has no business following Denver’s ballot initiative lead.
“We have so much to worry about in this state, in this economy,” Alfvegren says. “As interesting and life-changing as it would be to have someone make contact, well, I heard on the radio the other night that something like 70% percent of single mothers in Los Angeles County can’t meet their basic financial needs in terms of child care, health care, and food. You’ve got to put things in perspective.”
Okay, if a ballot initiative is out, then what if local politicians got directly involved?
“If a measure like Denver’s slipped in somehow,” Alfvegren says, “I don’t think anybody on our City Council has enough of a sense of humor to say, “Oh look, it’s promoting peace and harmony among everybody. Let’s okay this.’”
The L.O.W.F.I. leader also says she’s seen civic proposals she regards as stranger than the Denver idea: “Pot dispensaries having to be 1,000 feet from residential areas is a far crazier ballot initiative than one that’s promoting diplomacy and harmony and peace between us and whoever else may be out there.”
Photo Credit: The image accompanying this post was taken by Flickr user Eliya. It was used under Creative Commons license.
ALIENSHIFT PROJECT or New Hope for Humanity
The human bears a spirit that does not die nor sleep during the deepest sleep; it records all thoughts and motions; it informs the human whether his thoughts are correct or false – if he has learned to pay attention. From Saturday, November 14, 2009 at 8:00am to Sunday, November 15, 2009 at 6:00pm in Los Angeles, join host Saeed David Farman and 1000 other people chanting and meditating for peace at the ALIENSHIFT PROJECT.
As the new time line of 2012 is getting closer and closer we begin a special mind connection on the masses of enlightened ones telepathically and physically, preparing for the coming pole shift – remember that soon the matrix will collapse – are you ready to face the changes?
ALIENSHIFT PROJECT or New Hope for Humanity Ground Crew Preparing for the 2012-2019 Pole Shift.
Los Angeles, CA, NEAR LAX (to be announced)
Phone: 1(310)3550505 Email: Alien@Alienshift.com
Please join us in our coming Los Angeles ALIENEVENT NOV 14-15 or watch the live event on ustream.com! Yes, this event will be live on ustream.com for all our international Alienshifters, members, Fans & Friends. www.alienshift.com
Semjase, The Pleiadian Commander, ET Contact Notes
In this event we are going to bring to you following subject: What is ALIENSHIFT, UFOlogy, Alientology, ET contact studies, exopolitics, ALIENSHIFT disclosure , UFO, 2012, prophecy, the pole shift, time travel, teleportation to Mars, telepathy, the Mayans, the Dulce and other underground bases, singularity, finance geopolitics, Amnesty International, PEACE, liberty for Iran, Burma, Tibet, North Korea, China, Rumi and Hafiz, the philosophy of Ibn Arabi Nostradamus, Islamic UFOlogy, aliens in the Quran, the Hopi, yoga, the pineal gland, meditation, healing, holistic medicine, spirituality, Sufism, Sufi meditation and sacred dance, new age music and art.www.Alienshift.com PLEASE SUPPORT ALIENSHIFT AND THE EVENT: alienshift.com/id87.html
ALIENSHIFT also has been called a New Hope for Humanity.
Do not travel in the Year 2012.
“V” Love you,
ALIENSHIFT
www.facebook.com/pages/Los-Angeles-CA/ALIENSHIFT/134177868677
tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/alienshift
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=122716109330
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=127266457576
www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=153112210521
Mantong and Protong: Richard Sharpe Shaver and Stanislav Szukalski
Visiting that little old lady in Pasadena this coming October or November? Get her going with wild tales of the mighty Dero at this upcoming exhibit: Mantong and Protong: Richard Sharpe Shaver and Stanislav Szukalski. It’s at the Art Gallery – Pasadena City College from October 9 to November 14, 2009.
In conjunction with the Pasadena festival of Art & Ideas, Pasadena City College Art Gallery will present an exhibition that vividly illuminates two of the twentieth century’s most unusual theories of human origins and the artists who originated them: Stanislav Szukalski and Richard S. Shaver.
Szukalski (1893-1987) was a greatly acclaimed artist in his native Poland in the 1920’s and ‘30’s. Most of his life’s work was destroyed during the Nazi invasion of Warsaw. He relocated to the United States, where he developed his science of Zermatism, a comprehensive theory of human pre-history accompanied by an extensive body of drawings, writings and sculpture.
Richard Shaver (1907-1975) became famous in the post-WWII US as the author of pulp science fiction stories that he insisted were fundamentally true. His elaborate tales of malevolent creatures in underground cities that control human minds created a sensation in the science fiction world, as thousands of readers agreed with the truth of Shaver’s claims. In later life, Shaver became convinced that certain rocks were actually manufactured artifacts of advanced races that occupied earth eons ago. He developed unusual techniques to produce paintings and photographs based on these “rock books,” in order to reveal the true history of intelligent life on earth.
The Pasadena show will include a substantial amount of material by both of these artists that has never before been published or exhibited.
A Magical Excursion into Secret Los Angeles
If you’re in Los Angeles on October 31st, why not do something that’d fit right into a L.O.W.F.I frame of mind? You can simulate one of our outings very closely if you were to join the Occult Los Angeles Tour called Maja’s Mysteries: A Magical Excursion into Secret Los Angeles.
Los Angeles has always attracted spiritual seekers, some swimming down the mainstream of thought, others exploring esoteric tributaries. Maja’s Mysteries is a guided excursion to some of the city’s most fascinating spiritual sites hosted by Maja D’Aoust, author of The Secret Source, lecturer and librarian at the Philosophical Research Society in Los Feliz, in association with Kim Cooper and Richard Schave of Esotouric. The tour’s theme is “Consciousness impacts objective reality,” a jumping off point for explorations of the nature of reality itself. Join Maja and Esotouric for a metaphysical journey into history, faith and magic in the Southland, with in-depth visits to some of the city’s most compelling and seldom-seen spiritual sites.
Tour stops include: Downtown L.A.’s landmark 1927 Theosophy Hall, which is simultaneously an exquisite architectural time capsule and a thriving center for spiritual study where all are welcome to explore the wisdom of the ages in leaderless gatherings for which no payment is ever asked.
The local home of the Ordo Templi Orientis (O.T.O), the esoteric fraternal organization and religion that, under the leadership of Aleister Crowley in the early 20th Century, was rededicated to the Law of Thelema, with its twin directives “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law” and “Love is the law, love under will.”
The Gnostic Society of Glendale (established 1928), where for more than 40 years our host Dr. Stephan A. Hoeller, the Bishop of the Ecclesia Gnostica and senior holder of the English Gnostic Transmission in America, has given Friday evening lectures exploring Gnosticism as living religious practice.
Maja says, “The mystery of magic in all its forms lives and breathes in us from the depths of our blood to the tips of our souls. From the Shamans of old to the modern day quantum physicists, the effect of our sheer will on the material world makes up a large part of what defines us as a species. Impacting reality with our consciousness, and conversely, reality’s impact upon our consciousness lies at the base of every kind of magic from sympathetic voodoo to thaumaturgy. Making things happen with your mind, whether bringing the rain, healing a disease, invoking a God or prestidigitating an illusion, the art of conscious change is the very heart of the magical mystery of living.”
Join us on the Maja’s Mysteries tour for a one-of-a-kind Halloween adventure through the looking glass, and beyond.
To Sign up ($62) Contact Esotouric at www.esotouric.com/maja-10-31-09
Come discover Philip K. Dick’s Fullerton
“I am made of water. You wouldn’t know it, because I have it bound in. My friends are made out of water, too: all of them. The problem for us is that not only do we have to walk around without being absorbed by the ground but we also have to earn our livings.Actually, there’s an even greater problem. We don’t feel at home anywhere we go.” – Philip K. Dick
Come discover Philip K. Dick’s Fullerton, with our gracious host and tour guide, the venerable Robert Larson, this Monday, September 21st. Convene at 3pm at the corner of Chapman and State College, or contact me as soon as possible to iron out carpooling options from Lost Angles. (Feel free to forward this invite to any PKD enthusiast you may know in town.)
Yours in Fort,
Skylaire
The Last Supper
El Coyote is Movieland‘s idea of a Mexican restaurant: the lighting is garish, the margaritas stiff. Waitresses clad in petti-coated, off-the-shoulder cotton fiestas have been serving, as they call it, “authentic California style Mexican food” to actors and others since 1931, but the blood-red leather booth in the back played host to its most infamous party on the night of August 8th, 1969, when actress Sharon Tate dined there with Jay Sebring, Wojciech Fryowski and Abigail Folger. Later that night, the group would be slain by followers of Charles Manson at Tate’s home at 10050 Cielo Drive.
Tall, blonde, and forever gripping a camcorder, odd-teur John Aes-Nihil (director of the gory cult classic, Manson Family Movies) gathered his unusual band of miscreants for “the Last Supper,” this past Saturday night, as he has done every August 8th since 1979. Manson’s long-standing appeal? “It was the first time the hippies struck back,” one diner commented. Or was it?
Never a true crime buff nor serial killer dilettante, I had long viewed Manson symbolically–a guitar-strumming eco-terrorist with a Messiah complex who effectively extinguished the Age of Aquarius, but on this, the 40th anniversary of the Tate/LaBianca slayings, a different picture emerged.
Manson, suspected of being both an FBI informant and agent provocateur, may well have been a patsy. “The FBI took out the Black Panthers, the Yippies, the Weather Underground, and it’s a contention that the murders were orchestrated,” author Adam Gorightly pointed out between sips of a margarita. Manson’s connections to military intelligence, the Church of Scientology, government-sponsored mind control experiments and the ‘60s occult underground ripple through The Shadow Over Santa Susana, Gorightly’s definitive Manson tome, recently re-released by Creation Books.
Manson referred to his family as “slippies,“ and only grew his hair long in the months proceeding the murders; but because of Manson, “it was a long time before you saw longhairs portrayed in a positive light.”
Aes-Nihil’s group of historians, writers, musicians and film makers traded stories of the weird, twisted Hollywood of old, attracting the attention of a pudgy blonde industry type, who, with no prompting, described the “peaceful vibe” surrounding Tate’s house when Trent Reznor recorded “Helter Skelter” there with a not-yet famous Marilyn Manson. Archivist Aes-Nihil (short for “aesthetic nihilism”) poked his ever-present camera in the man’s face, adding to the hundreds of hours of Manson-related footage he’s acquired over the decades, smirking all the while.
In all the years I’d known John Aes-Nihil, I’d always thought it was the Family’s creep factor that had attracted him. Many of my teenaged Saturdays were spent riding the bus all the way to his house in Winnetka (oddly enough, the childhood home of trickster artist and LA Weekly pal, Jeffrey Vallance), where I’d gorge myself on Jodorowsky and Cecil Taylor before waking up at four a.m. to hawk copies of movies from his archive at various swap meets around the southland. Our booth was always popular, even though a lone copy of Time magazine with the Manson cover hung from the entrance.
“There’s infinitely more to the Manson thing than Tex Watson killing people,” he explained. “I’m obsessed with the effect the murders had on the ‘60s since I was there, part of a group somewhat like the Family. When the story came out, we didn’t believe it for a second.” A man of infamously few words, he resumed shooting the party‘s chatter.
Church of Satan founder, Anton La Vey had cursed Tate’s husband, director Roman Polanski, after they’d had a falling out on the set of Rosemary’s Baby. Drug-addled orgies at the house on Cielo Drive were filmed, and later sold on the black market by crooked LAPD who’d stolen them from the crime scene. Family member Patricia Krenwinkel, in correspondence with researcher John Judge, swore she had been a victim of mind control. The acid Manson gave his followers was allegedly of the same, government-issued variety “Son of Sam” killer David Berkowitz had been dosed with while in the military… standard dinner party conversation.
Gathering the assembled for a post-dinner portrait, Aes-Nihil continued. “Charlie and Sharon [Tate] have been baptized in the well of eternity via mass culture and universal myth. As for Charlie, he’s a modern-day Nietzsche.” This is apparent, he says, in Manson’s unedited interviews. “If a lot of what Charlie has said had been attributed to someone who is politically correct, it would be hailed as genius.” I hear him out, knowing that many people don’t, and smile for the camera.
Whatever Happened to “Psycho” Ronnie Rains?
by guest blogger Adam Gorightly
Hailed by its announcers as “America’s fastest growing spectator sport!”, Roller Games (and its rival league, Roller Derby) peaked in popularity during the early 1970’s when it was in national television syndication. During this Golden Age, I’d religiously tune into the “Roller Game of the Week” on KTLA every Sunday night to hear that flamboyant trackside announcer Dick Lane, at least once a game, bellow: “Whoooooaaaaaaaaaa, Nelly!”
The Roller Game of the Week–hosted by this legendary team of the aforementioned Lane and his sidekick Bill “Hoppy” Haupt and his terminally bad hairpiece–each week featured the beloved Los Angeles Thunder Birds pitted against a rival bad guy team such as the Texas Outlaws, New York Bombers or Reilly’s Western Renegades. What would normally transpire during the course of the Roller Game of the Week was an all out orgy of screaming, violence and overall bad behavior which usually culminated in a last second victory by the T-Birds, just when it appeared that all was lost!
As each Roller Game of the Week concluded, my brother and I—both of us by now worked into a lather by the spectacle we’d just witnessed—would wrestle our way to my bedroom, relentlessly punching each other as we made our passage. Then in our stocking feet–on the slick hardwood floor with a little table placed strategically in the middle of the room to approximate the center of the roller rink–my brother would whip me out on a jam and I’d slide swiftly across the bare, hardwood floor on imaginary roller skates, throwing elbows and delivering hip checks, crashing into the walls and alarming our parents as we skated around in our socks, beating the crap out of each other.
Such was our passion for Roller Games!
But as the early 80’s rolled around, the wheels had come off the figurative skates of the Roller Games industry, due in part to the emergence of Vince McMahon’s WWF, with the likes of such steroid-pumped superstar wrestlers as Hulk Hogan and the Macho Man, Randy Savage. Although a few feeble attempts to revive Roller Games have been attempted in recent years, its glory days most likely will never be recaptured. The last serious attempt was the short-lived RollerJam of a few years back, featuring juiced guys and shapely gals in sexy uniforms in a high-octane MTV generation version of Roller Games. But for all its flash and hype, RollerJam just couldn’t capture the cheesy charm of its low budget predecessor.
Memories of the glory days of the banked track now bring a nostalgic lump to my throat as I think back to those roller stars of yore that soared around the track like comets in the night’s sky, shining bright under the hot lights of the Olympic auditorium in Los Angeles. But of all those faded stars from the halcyon days of Roller Games, none burned brighter than the L.A. T-Bird’s own “Psycho” Ronnie Rains, who was once described by an L.A. Times reporter as “a man who combines handsome physical features with the charm of Charles Manson.”
Rains, a Los Angeles native, began competing as a flat track roller skater at age 11. As an amateur, Ronnie was 3-time national speed skating champion, along the way defeating some of the best skaters in the world, as he hitchhiked around the country competing in national championships. In his early twenties, Rains made the jump to the banked track, hired to his first Roller Games contract in 1963 with the New York Bombers. During the 60’s, he spent several years with the Australian T-Birds, where he met his future wife, Australian skater Colleen Murrell. The best pure skater in the sport, Rains could skate backward on one skate better than most skaters could go forward on two, combining speed, agility and a manic personality, which captivated Roller Games fans around the globe.
In 1969, Ronnie returned to the New York Bombers as player/coach, assuming the classic role of the heel. On account of his over the top antics, opposing fans began taunting Ronnie with the nickname, “Psycho”, which continually made him go berserk and cover his ears to drown out the deafening chorus of: “Psycho, Psycho, Psycho!” Conversely, Ronnie had the ability to work crowds into a frenzy, often inciting riots at other team’s arenas.
Throughout his colorful career, Rains fluctuated between the roles of “good psycho” and “bad psycho”, just as many of today’s wrestling stars flip-flop between these good guy/bad guy personas as a marketing ploy. For many years, Rains–with his fondness for kicking opposing skaters in the face–was one of the reigning rogues of the game. Because of such bad guy tactics, Ronnie was the recipient of a bomb threat at his apartment in New York one time, and on another occasion was nearly shot by some irate fan that felt “The Psycho” needed to be put in his place. One time Ronnie enraged one spectator to the point that it caused the fellow to stand up without his crutches for the first time in years.
One of Ronnie’s most infamous routines — circa 1972 — centered around a German WW1 Kaiser helmet, the kind with a spike on top. Instead of the traditional helmet that jammers would normally use, “The Psycho” would wear this Kaiser helmet when he went out on a jam, the result of which made him seemingly invincible as he’d crash into opposing skaters and scatter them like bowling pins. For some reason, it never occurred to Ronnie to wear the helmet during the last jam of the game to score the winning points, thus his evil-hearted Bombers would always end up losing to those perennial good guy L.A. Thunderbirds. Eventually, Ronnie stopped wearing this magic helmet when it was officially banned by the Roller Games Commission on account of its evil mystical powers! That same year, Ronnie had a role in Kansas City Bomber starring Rachel Welch. Portraying the heel captain of a dastardly team called the Renegades, Ronnie’s antics proved to be the most memorable and hilarious of all those Roller Games skaters appearing in the film.
Ronnie skated with the New York Bombers until 1973, when he switched sides and joined the L.A. T-Bird’s, re-inventing himself in the image of the good natured psycho with a heart of gold. At the height of this “good guy psycho” phase Ronnie was much beloved in Los Angeles. In fact, it was the L.A. fans that turned around “The Psycho” nickname and started using it in a positive light, as over time Ronnie grew to appreciate the appellation.
A regular Harpo Marx on skates, Rains was a true comic genius. One minute he’d be racing around the track at 40 miles an hour, dodging in and out, throwing a shoulder here or an elbow there, knocking his opponents over the rail or into the infield. The next thing you’d know he’d be reaching down into the crowd and sweeping middle aged ladies off their feet, pulling them up to the railing and planting a big smooch on their cheeks.
Rains brought a creativity to the sport the likes of which hasn’t been seen since. He had a thousand gags and gimmicks, like his famous “swivel hip” routine where he’d start doing this crazy little dance to juke opposing defenders, mesmerizing them just as a teammate, like little Ralphie Valladares, would come soaring around the corner on a jam and score! Other diversionary tactics including spinning in circles, making faces at his opponents, or biting them on the ankles.
Sometimes Ronnie would grab an opposing player and, much to their chagrin, start doing the jitterbug, high stepping and clowning, which would totally confound his roller-skated nemesis. Another stunt the Psycho mastered was to lay flat on his back and then scissors-kick an oncoming opponent, launching them over his head, where they would somersault in mid-air then land flat on their backs, grimacing in pain. On other occasions, Ronnie would suddenly grab the microphone from the track announcer and start eating the cord.
As Ronnie told Roller Sport Illustrated in 1974, “No one can ever predict what I am going to do next because I don’t even know what it is. I’ll be out there skating and suddenly an inspiration will hit me. A voice will descend to me from high above, far beyond the reaches of the arena, and like a lightning bolt it will instruct me with my next move.“Just because I am the one chosen for these daring and essential deeds, the whole world is ganging up on me. Can you believe that as far away as Japan the people are up in arms against me and want to have me committed to an institution?”
During his heyday, Ronnie transformed the banked track into his own personal canvas, painting these wacky landscapes. Occasionally you’d find him during a lull in action, sitting on the rails doing a pantomime of a motorcycle rider, complete with vocal sound effects, or an imitation of a channel swimmer or Superman. Other times he’d be sticking his tongue out at a referee.
Eventually, the other teams in the league become so alarmed at Ronnie’s unpredictable behavior that they hired a man named Jess Adams to compile the infamous “Adam’s Report” to determine Ronnie’s sanity. Afterwards, when a reporter questioned the veracity of this report, implying that it was just another classic Roller Games ruse, Ronnie replied: “The Adams Report was on the up and up. It was all for real. The owners wanted me barred. They said I was psycho, when I was just eccentric.”
In 1973, one of the Psycho’s more memorable stunts took place at the Rose Bowl during a 4th of July fire works halftime display. For several weeks “The Roller Game of the Week” had been hyping how Psycho Ronnie was going to strap on a jet pack during the halftime show and fly out of the stadium. As promised, that’s exactly what he did, (well, sort of) lifting off about twenty feet above the ground and spinning in circles, then returning back to earth. On that same night there was a tribute to that irrepressible trackside announcer, Dick Lane. During the fireworks show, a bust of Lane (laced with explosives) was ignited and burst into flames to the amazement of all those in attendance.
Each “Roller Game of the Week” featured a halftime interview where inevitably the star player on one team would challenge the other team’s star to the obligatory “Match Race”. Usually the interview culminated amid a flurry of fisticuffs and threats of career ending injuries, as the venerable Bill “Hoppy” Haupt would announce to the home viewing audience that a “5 laps anything goes match race!” between the two skaters would be held the following Saturday night at the Olympic Auditorium. Like clockwork, these halftime interviews would spark a mini riot in the crowd, as the camera panned the packed arena and Hoppy would yell out: “Better call Richmond 9-5171 right now before the tickets sell out!” Then–filled with anticipation of Psycho Ronnie going mano-e-mano with his nemesis to settle once and for all who was really the superior skater–I’d race to the phone and order tickets. Only later did I discover that these Sunday night telecasts were free admissions, which explained why the stands were always filled to capacity. This tried and true formula was the brainchild of legendary T-Bird owner Bill Griffith, Sr., who utilized such P.T. Barnum theatrics to promote his product. It was a formula that worked well for many years, but as the mid-70’s rolled around, interest in Roller Games began to wane.
By the early 80’s, the Roller Games league folded and Ronnie moved on. For a while he ran a gardening business in L.A., then later a flower shop, and soon faded from popular memory. Still, the legend of “The Psycho” burns bright with a few die-hard fans, who fondly remember when he reigned supreme over the banked track, flashing an infectious smile while pounding opposing skaters into submission. In fact, a small but fanatical following can be found these days on Internet messageboards and newsgroups, keeping the memory of Ronnie’s skating days alive.
In fact, it was at one of these very Internet newsgroups that, much to my surprise and delight, I learned of Ronnie’s current whereabouts. As it turns out, he is alive and well in Portland, Oregon, where he and his wife, Colleen, own and operate a Tommy’s Burgers that is decorated with pictures and newspaper clippings from Ronnie’s Roller Games career. On any given day you can find him there, reminiscing with customers about those heady days when he was known to the world as “The Psycho”, the greatest Roller Games player to ever lace up a pair of skates.
For more about Ronnie “The Psycho” Rains visit: groups.yahoo.com/group/ronnieraines/
Postscript: The Tommy’s Burgers Controversy
As we were going to press, I discovered a series of articles from 2003 chronicling some rather questionable business practices involving Ronnie Rains and the use of the “Tommy’s Burgers” trademark, a famous Southern California restaurant chain.
According to “Miss Dish”, food critic for the Willamette Week Online (www.wweek.com), ”The signature (Tommy’s) dish is a burger with a healthy dollop of a sweet meat-only chili, cheese, onions, pickle, tomato and mustard, and the chain artfully displays the blueprint of its masterpiece with a poster titled “Anatomy of an Original Tommy’s Burger.” ”
When Miss Dish visited the Portland “Tommy’s Burgers”–which formerly operated out of a building at Southwest 20th Avenue and Morrison Street, but switched to a cart after the restaurant closed—she discovered that it sported the same “Anatomy of an Original Tommy’s Burger” image as its SoCal counterpart. When Dish asked one of the owners if they were connected to the California Tommy’s, he replied: “We’re from California…I knew Tommy.” Afterwards, Miss Dish’s research showed that this Portland version of “Tommy’s” had no affiliation to the “Original Tommy’s” of Southern California.
After this article appeared, the Portland “Tommy’s” received letters from the Original Tommy’s lawyers. Subsequently, the name was changed to “Ronnie’s”, and then shortly after to “Salt & Pepper”.
Moral of the story: You can’t keep a good psycho down!


































