Archive for October, 2009
October 29th, 2009 | 
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Posted in 
The Mind Warper Chronicles
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n December of 2002, I received the following series of emails, which are easily the most stimulating spams that have yet to enter my inbox, particularly due to the fact that the spammer in question wasn’t trying to sell anything, but instead was looking to acquire certain mind warping technologies that most likely don’t even exist. (At least not in this space-time continuum!)
Wondering what the hell this was all about, I did a websearch on Google Newsgroups for Tomnwrr@aol.com and discovered that this was indeed a pretty wide spread spam, which had been around for at least a couple months prior to December 2002.
Anyway, to follow is the series of emails I received from this time traveling challenged individual, and my always eloquent replies penned under the pseudonymous persona I adopted for this surreal exchange, Dr. Curtis Strange. Enjoy!
From: <cad52@earthlink.net>
Sent: Monday, December 16, 2002 8:50 PM
Subject: DWG #52 4350a mind warper needed! jrvLpg
Hello,
If you are a reliable supplier of the below equipment I am going to need the following:
1. A mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with memory adapter.
2. The special 23200 series time transducing capacitor with built in temporal displacement.
While these time pieces normally go between $5,000-$7,000 a piece, I am having a hard time finding a reliable supplier.
Teleport to me within the next 48 earth hours and I will pay $40,000 2002 US cash. Please only reply if you are reliable. Send a (SEPARATE) email to me at: Tomnwrr@aol.com
From: <gorightly@hotmail.com>
To: <Tomnwrr@aol.com>
Monday, December 16, 2002 10:45 PM
Re: DWG #52 4350a mind warper needed! jrvLpg
Dear sir or madame:
Currently we are out of stock of the below mentioned items. Just to let you know, our “mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generators” are an earlier series and do not have a memory adapter, though this certainly could be supplemented and even enhanced to a certain degree with the Kromton Brain Wave Stimulator Multiplex, which we DO currently have in stock, though in limited supply. Our version of the “23200 series time transducing capacitor with built in temporal displacement” caused major problems in the space time continuum and I do not see how, with a clear conscience, our company can allow this item on the market until someone in the current administration addresses the ongoing problem of wormholes and how they are eating away at my temporal lobe.
Best Wishes,
Dr. Curtis Strange
From: <Tomnwrr@aol.com>
To: <gorightly@hotmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, December 17, 2002 12:00 PM
Subject: Re: Fw: DWG #52 4350a mind warper needed! jrvLpg
If you are serious on doing business please provide a phone # I may reach you at and best time to call
Thanks
From: gorightly@hotmail.com
To: Tomnwrr@aol.com
Date: Wednesday, December 18, 2002 12:07 AM
Subject: Re: Fw: DWG #52 4350a mind warper needed! JrvLpg
Dear sir or madame:
Please first tell me what you plan to do with these items once you get them? I do not want to be held responsible for causing a polar shift!
Cordially yours,
Dr. Curtis Strange
Amalgamated Interdimensional Suppliers, Limited
From: <Tomnwrr@aol.com >
Sent: Monday, December 19, 2002 1:47 PM
Subject: DWG #52 4350a mind warper needed! JrvLpg
Here is my situation, and why I need these time pieces urgently: First I won’t you to know my intentions would never be to change the past for others or to interfere with past events! It’s wrong! I have literally come across 100s in this timeline alone who are using time travel for no good selfish finical gain and to interfere with past events!
What’s even worse is that there is an agency I shall not mention here who has been using temporal displacement to change big past events and disable certain individuals to reshape the world to their liking, which will result in WW3, the major problems to come, and the death of millions.
The first piece of equipment, the time transducing capacitor is for the purpose of changing your own past, not others. It allows for you to be the programmer of your travels. I need to take control over an illegal disturbance in my timeline which has ruined my whole life and health!
First I need the time transducing capacitor to go back and have someone make sure I was never vaccinated. There was a recall on it, it has caused me many health problems, and I was an experiment to this corrupt conspiracy from the beginning starting with it. The agencies famous words are: We set things right, we change them to how they should be when in essence they really are the result of great destruction and the deaths of millions, suffering of many. This so-called government conspiracy is not the government at all. It has been decided that this species will not reach the next stage of evolution. Nanobites are actually a degenerative virus(manufactured) planted in certain members of the species believed to have already made the progression into that next stage.
I must then use the mind warper dimensional warp generator to warp my mind to my former self so that I can take back my life which has been destroyed by the evil aliens. They have messed with my life and health in the worst possible way you can imagine and now I am dying of CJD which they have infected me with. I have known two others who were messed with by these same evil beings, returned to their former self, foiled there schemes and successfully taken their life’s back.
There has been a major disturbance in my timeline. My father dated this women by the name of Denise whom was from a species I will not mention here. She drugged me and also has utilized mind-transducers that she slipped into my food. They are, in fact, composed of millions of nanoprobes, microscopic, intelligent machines designed to infiltrate and influence the physical and mental functions also acting as a tracer. They have done things to me and messed with my life and health in the worst possible way you can imagine, and now I am dying of CJD, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.
What are your intentions in the past?
I have carefully thought and planned out my actions and taken into account the consequences which could occur and believe in my heart that I have a good chance to succeed if it is done correct. That is how I have learned of these devices and everything I know, from the 2 others I met in Florida who have returned to their former self’s which were also harmed by these beings. They were able to recognize and foil their schemes from happening again. My situation goes WAY beyond this CJD! This has simply been their greatest attempt to disable my mind so far.
My plan would be very simple: When I got back in time I would simply awake one morning in panic and tell both of my parents that I had a dream from God showing me my future. As I made small predictions of what would happen over the next couple days to them and they happened they would then listen to me. Like you will be receiving a check in the mail this week for $5,000. Or you will be getting a new truck from your company this week. Then when I had their attention I would only make one by one prediction at ONLY the APPROPRIATE times to prevent the outcome of the illegal disturbance in my timeline. I also would act like myself then including social gatherings, school and everything! I would not want to send an alert to the system in any way and would only WHEN NECESSARY use my knowledge to prevent what would happen to me.
It is obvious that they were sent back to alter my destiny and change the potential I had. As a kid I was of genius intelligence, could think and see things like nobody else. Upon being drugged and exposed to these nanaprobes it all went right down the tube, when the process was interrupted they have tortured me since and now the CJD to try and destroy my thinking pattern and mind entirely. I am a fighter, and the only thing which has kept me alive from this is natural healing, a diet consisting of vegetables, fruits, nuts, grains, and seeds, 60% of my food intake raw in it’s most natural form. 8 cups of fresh carrot juice per day mixed with barley green and plenty of water. It is quickly taking it’s toll though. They have done much more to me as I could explain to you in my life story.
From:<gorightly@hotmail.com>
To: <Tomnwrr@aol.com>
Date: 2002/12/20 Fri AM 01:36:03 EST
Subject: Re: Fw: DWG #52 4350a mind warper needed! JrvLpg
Dear Sir or Madame,
Due to the urgency of your letter an emergency meeting was called this afternoon with the board of directors of Amalgamated Interdimensional Suppliers, Limited (AISL) to address the seriousness of your situation. Normally, when we supply the types of items you have requested, they are for the express purpose of INTERDIMENSIONAL travel as part of our planet’s ongoing (albeit clandestine) battle with the evil shapeshifting beings that have entered into our realm of consciousness by way of a quantum mechanical portal allegedly located in Boca Raton, Florida.
Our business practices, in these regards, have been sanctioned by the Intergalactic Federation, of which Earth is aligned, and therefore the equipment we supply on a routine basis to Earth-based INTERDIMENSIONAL travelers (engaged in this war with these shapeshifting ultradimensional scumbags!) has been approved through rigorous testing and systematic scrutiny by our finest scientists!
Time travel, though, is an entirely different subject, and the use of said equipment is this manner is expressly forbidden by the Grand Imperial Wizards of our Solar System, in conjunction with Major League Baseball. This being the case, our board of directors have decided that at this time we are unable to supply you with the mind warping items you previously requested.
Thank you for your interest,
Dr. Curtis Strange
Proprietor