Washington L.O.W.F.I

Archive for February 3rd, 2009

Hello…

First of all, it’s my esteemed pleasure to serve as the Washington State representative of LOWFI.

I will no doubt need to occasionally focus on the Sasquatch creature. This will once again bring me head to head with my dreaded enemy, Col. J. Platypus Maddoxtopus, Ph.D., the Galaxy’s Greatest Cryptozoologist ®. J-Plat, as I like to call him, keeps his arms tightly wound around the Bigfoot world. Keep your eyes open for the dastardly deeds of this dynamic demonologist!

Now… As a paranormal conspiracy anarchicrat, it is my sworn duty to warn the public that an evil doppelganger group, The League of Western Fundamentalist Industrialists, is pushing to keep West Virginia out of the The League of Western Fortean Intermediatists. They don’t even care that West Virginia, as its name indicates, is really a Western State!

In order to stop this paranormal genocide, we must act now to include West Virginia! Remind the corporatists that is was they who decided that geography no longer mattered. The multinational military-industrialists themselves first broke the prison walls that once were our state boundaries.

Whew! I’m glad I got that off my chest… 

Andy Colvin